“As Far As I Can Throw You”

Photography by Shaun Liriano

He threw her.  Just threw her with full force like you chuck a football through a field. He threw her. She flew through the air.

I always knew I could fly, she said.

For the first time there was someone he could trust with his life and he wanted to show her that he cared.  He wanted to show her that she was special.  He wanted to show her that he’d be “mush” without her.

I trust you about as far as I can throw you, he said.

Then he threw her.  He hurled her body and watched it spiral through the air. His love poured out of the sweat that beaded on her forehead.  His faith sprouted wings in her back.  His hope stripped her naked and replaced her bland clothing with an aerodynamic super suit colorful enough to match her vibrant personality.

At first, she was afraid. Fretfully, she gathered herself and tried to get her bearings.  She tried to get used to being in the company of birds, high branches, and jet planes approaching their landings. She screamed in excitement.  No one seemed alarmed that she was up there.  They expected her to be in the sky.  It was as if she didn’t belong on the ground and everyone knew it.

He didn’t look at her though. Once he threw her he didn’t wonder if she could take flight.  He BELIEVED she could. So he obliviously kicked a ball through a field and watched it roll on. He read an article from time to time. He viewed television shows at leisure. He felt the warmth of an onlookers admiring glance. He chugged along knowing she was soaring through the sky for the first time.

Isn’t he wondering if I am okay?  How does he know a larger creature hasn’t consumed me?  Hasn’t he thought about my loneliness? Sometimes it’s cold up here.  I don’t know anyone up here.  Sometimes I’m scared.  I’ve never flown before.  I’ve never been thrown before.  At first it was fun but where is he?  What is he doing?

Her fear ignited a fire so fierce it singed her beautiful wings. It incinerated her custom costume.  It sent her flailing through the sky clumsily…falling.

She landed in a bed of roses.  The thorns, long and sharp, pierced her skin and her blood mixed with the crimson red of the rose petals.  Her body naked and covered in ashes and blood writhed in pain.

She screamed out in horror, “My love! Where are you?  Why didn’t you fly with me?  Why did you leave me all alone?”

Silence.  She waited in the cold.  Naked. Vulnerable.

All the while, he returned to the field of her original launch every day after breakfast.  He wondered why she never returned. He assumed she must be enjoying the clean air, the ascension.

Why didn’t she ever try to throw me?

He felt her absence but he also felt her presence.

-By: Shaun Liriano

*Dedicated to my muse.

My life is part humor, part roses, part thorns.

~Bret Michaels

 

 

If You Slack You’ll Lack

“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.
-Matthew 7:15

I had someone once say to me, ” I wouldn’t lie. I am a God-fearing woman.”
I bet you can guess what happened after that! They proceeded to lie to me. Some people don’t serve the same Master you do. Some people say things like that and then pray for forgiveness because their actions are malicious and feed into a part of their nature that they thought they buried.

Know in your heart that you have fear, respect and awe for something greater than yourself. Know what you will and will not tolerate. These things are easy to say and extremely challenging to execute. People who know me are probably thinking, “Shaun says all these motivational things or poetic things but she has problems too.” They would be right!! I have tons of things I imagined differently. They will only become “problems” if I give up. I am an emotional,  sensitive, opinionated, frustrated wreck from time to time. What I will tell you is this ship doesn’t sink!

Today I went out in the sunshine and ran. While in the park following the track I was thinking. Do you remember Grimms Little Red Riding Hood? She was devoured because she strayed from her path. She was distracted by something pretty (flowers), someone seemingly harmless (the wolf) and all of a sudden she forgot what she was supposed to be doing!

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There are things you have to do to counteract anything that doesn’t coincide with your desires and the Creator’s will. You know exactly what those things are. If you slip up you will flip out! You may not have your  “crazy moment” as often as I do but it will happen. If you slack, you will lack the things you really really want in this life.

My pastor, Reverend Henry Simmons says, “God will answer all of your prayers. It is either Yes, No, or Wait.”

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That reminds me of a stop light. Don’t run that light!! The yellow isn’t “wait”  but its even better. It’s CAUTION, SLOW DOWN. Just wait for direction.
There are ramifications for being disobedient. Most of us survive those ramifications and some of us do not. Don’t take that gamble.

Recognize the fangs of wolves who have everything to gain from your loss! Finally, key into your survival instincts.

“Alonzo Harris: To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.”
-Training Day

Try your best to be resilient. Some of the women in my circle are strong and superior to suffering because they refuse to be a victim! They’re tough as nails. That doesn’t mean they don’t cry or vent but they are classy and controlled at least 72% of the time!

Be aware and be courageous. Know you will have slips. Just try your best not to fall and stay down.

By:SMN

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Emotionally Unstable

I called my significant other and I asked him whether he thinks I’m emotionally unstable.
His reply was simple.
“We’re all emotionally unstable.”
Sometimes I wonder if I’m in more control than the average person because I dedicate so much time to introspection. I actually give a crud about my feelings. I embrace the very micro memories, disappointments, fears, failures, and daring ambitions that most people try to suppress.

I give a damn.

If I’m in love with you. I care about your dreams, what you ate for breakfast, what you always wanted for Christmas that you never received. 

If only you knew what goes through my head at 2am in the darkness of my one bedroom apartment. I check the doors to make sure they’re locked, even though I know I already have. I think if how I would kill the “bad guy” if someone tried to hurt my family. I pray for my loved ones and even my adversaries. I sing with confidence like im onstage somewhere and I’m going to accept an award after my performance. I feel exposed and vulnerable even if I am the only one in the room.

If it sounds overwhelming, it’s not. Recently, I’ve learned NOT to suppress these kinds of emotions with a glass (or two) of wine. I’ve learned that working 2-3 jobs to keep yourself busy and your mind cluttered doesn’t help either. At some point, your thoughts will intrude upon you like an uninvited guest. You may be embarrassed to mingle with them because you haven’t done the psychological housekeeping necessary to entertain those thoughts.

Emotionally unstable?

Child of divorced parents, private school education, mother, sister, significant other, Christian, college drop-out and drop-in, cynic and visionary. I’m an idealist. Eden and Utopia sound good to me. Scared and strong enough to admit it. Loved and courageous enough to submit to it. Analytical and arrogant enough to write this post.

Stop pretending to have it all figured out. Stop allowing people to place unrealistic expectations on you. Join me in my instability or ShutYaMouthAndCallMeUgly.

By:Shaun Nickens

Tell Me How You Really Feel! :-o (Praying for Sagacity)

We all have moments when someone infuriates us.  These are character building moments.  There are people in this world who are optimistic and positive.  These people see the best in others.  As we all know everything in existence has an opposite or a pole.  So of course there will always be someone who thinks you are a loser, a delinquent, a rebel, or a “mess.”  Most of the time, they feel that way because they don’t understand you.  You base your actions on standards, morals or beliefs that they cannot relate to.  My response to that is very simple.  The Creator made us all different for a good reason.  We have different genres of music that we are attracted to.  Libraries and book stores have endless amounts of subject matter.  Even God doesn’t try to affect your free will.  It’s a gift.  We all have to use our discernment to be able to direct our lives in the way we want it to go.  It takes a strong personality, a twinge of patience and humility, and lastly it takes fortitude.  Some of the closest people to me have hurt me the most.  Those are the people you wish knew you the best.  Those are the people who can get under your skin because you hold them in the highest esteem.  However, those people will never be able to live your life for you.  As much as you may love them, only your actions are relevant to your destiny.  Love doesn’t reside in your mind.  Love resides in your heart.  There are practical people who can only live in terms of what they can see.  Then there are enlightened faith carrying people who believe beyond logistics.

Never compare your situation to someone elses.  Stop going through your old classmates Facebook pictures and tweets.  Social media is like reality tv.  People can edit and show you what they want to show you.  They will never share the bad times.  That couple that has been married for 20 years with the matching outfits and the Escalade has gone through some tumultuous circumstances.  It’s always in poor taste to post troubled times.  You will give yourself a personality disorder comparing yourself to others.  Its destructive.  Live your own life.  I’m pretty sure Cinderella wasn’t jealous of Snow White or Sleeping Beauty.  No matter how much hair you purchase from the beauty supply store, you are not Rapunzel.  No man will ever climb up your locs and rescue you from a tower.  Whatever turmoil has you captive in your life, you have to free yourself from before you will find any of the happiness you seek.

I remember childhood sayings like “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”  and “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  Those were cute but they were crap.  They don’t transfer in your adult life.  People don’t think before they speak and you may get hurt from time to time.  Just make a pact with yourself to do your best always.  Your best is enough.  Prepare for excellence and tell the haters, “Shut ya Mouth And Call Me Ugly.”  😉

By: Shaun M Nickens