Don’t Complain

I remember when a good friend of mine was pregnant with her first child.  We are college buddies.  We were at an event for another friend of ours.  We’re standing by the bar (of course she wasn’t drinking) and an acquaintance looks at her blooming belly and begins a conversation about childbirth and the woes of being a mother.  This was a lengthy talk.  Our eyes grew wider as we listened intently.  This was many years ago but all I remember are the forewarnings vividly.

Oh you like to be cute! I see your nails are done. You won’t have time for that.

You’re lucky if you get a chance to eat!

This happens all the time.  Right?  A group of “seasoned mothers” with a “mother-to-be.”  We tell them about the hours of labor, the pain, what color your body part turned, what new smell you discovered…

When my cousin was pregnant with her son, another family member and I were “bragging” about the happenstance of being able to shave and shower in the same session without interruption.  Pregnant Cousin promptly responded, “You two sound like refugees!”

She’s right.

Today, I laugh about the awkward conversations amongst the mommy crew.  Its honestly all in comradery.  I don’t think anyone ever wants to scare the new mommies.  Motherhood is something to celebrate.  It is never dull, you are always learning, and you are consistently responsible for the experiences and growth of another human being.

One of my favorite quotes is by Kahlil Gibran:

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

There are days where I am completely exhausted from work.  Then it’s time to put on my “mommy hat.”  I have to do homework, clean, prepare food (or at least take it out the fast food bag,) run bath water, make lunches, read, pray with the kids, and then finally collapse and try to take care of myself. Like any human I get overwhelmed but I love my children.  I love doing arts and crafts with my step daughter, watching movies with my 3 year old, and having crawling races with my son (I always let him win.)  There are challenges and there are tests that I in no way could have been prepared for so now I just stay in tuned with gratefulness.

I read an article (http://nypost.com/2017/04/23/several-dead-after-house-fire-breaks-out-in-queens/)  the other day that floored me.  I had just finished arguing.  I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it was too late to go back to sleep and try again.  I woke up an asshole.  I can admit it.  It happens to the best of us but I was saddened by the article.

Four children died in a fire.

I kept seeing the words flash across my mind like a scrolling LED message. What a sobering moment.  It was like God screamed “STOP COMPLAINING!”

STOP COMPLAINING

What would you do without these “little headaches?”  I have another cousin that calls them “freedom suckers.”  I am eternally grateful for the blessing of being a mother.  There are other titles that I am so proud of but that one has to be the best.

Finally, when I was pregnant with my daughter I remember a co-worker saying, “One day you will be alone with the baby and the baby will be crying and you will be crying and you two will just cry together and soothe one another.” Whoa!  I felt depressed but that isn’t necessarily a sad moment.  I know several mothers who have experienced that and it is a tremendous bonding time with your child. You both want to be heard.  You both probably don’t even have a specific reason for crying.  You both will provide comfort in a unique way.  Crying isn’t an expression of weakness.  Crying is how you bathe your soul.

Take a bath today.  Try not to complain. Enjoy every part of who you are.

-Shaun L

 

 

Review on DiaperDabbler.com [SPECIAL COUPON CODE FOR SYMACMU READERS!!!!!!]

When I had my 3 year old daughter I was not picky about what diapers I used. I was given a few boxes from my baby shower. I was (and still am) a coupon fanatic. Therefore I used whatever was on sale. She never suffered from diaper rash so I was lucky. Some mommies cannot be that liberal because their children have sensitive skin. Unfortunately the only way to find what works best for your baby is through trial and error. 

My son is the guinea pig (a very very cute guinea pig) for this trial. When you leave the hospital, you will probably be given a couple dozen Pampers Swaddlers. FYI, up until the trial done for this review I was only using Pampers on my newborn. 

DiaperDabbler.com is a fun way to try out different brands without buying the whole pack.

I received my package in 5 business days. There was tracking provided so I knew exactly where it was at all times. When it arrived, it was in a brown standard shipping envelope. 

All the packaging was simple with a personal touch. 

My diapers came in packs of three individually wrapped and labeled with the brand and size. 

You will also receive a print out that will assist in you rating each brand. Let’s face it…”mommy brain” is real and we need help with memory and staying organized. Studies show we become sharper and more astute in other areas but I’ll save that for another post!! 

The company also threw in a few complimentary wipes to check out! 

I started with bambamboos because I’ve never heard of it. They have no overwhelming smell, they do not feel soft and the design isn’t necessarily eye popping. It was clear that this would be a brand I was rating mostly on function. I also sampled Earths Best Tender Care and Bamboo Nature. 

Currently my son sleeps for 1 1/2-3 hours after each changing and feeding (according to this awesome app I have called Feed Baby.) The diapers need to withstand that timeframe as well as keep him relatively dry. Just for added information for seasoned moms: My son is breastfeeding exclusively. 

I am actually excited about changing diapers! The company can easily be reached via email with any questions or comments: care@diaperdabbler.com

Now…exclusively for my ShutYaMouthAndCallMeUgly readers…(insert drumroll) here is a coupon code you can use on your next order: DIAPER10 
You can reach the company on Twitter @DiaperDabbler

You can reach me on Twitter @Shutyamouthnow

Happy Dabbling!!

-Shaun Liriano 

Finding Mom by Amanda Mawhinney (Book review) 

I was given an opportunity to review a new book by Amanda Mawhinney. I have to admit the book size is a turn on. I have a 5 yr old step daughter, a 3 yr old daughter, and a 1 week old son. That being said, it usually takes awhile to get through a good read. “Me time” is hard to come by. This book is 75 pages and packs a lot of information in a small package. I finished it in one sitting while the girls did arts and crafts and my son took a nap! There are some activities I will revisit but I was able to get through it quickly and efficiently.

Chapter 4, “Who am I?”was fun because there were tools provided to be your navigation in “finding yourself.” In this chapter, a journal and a pen were necessary. Questions asked by the author sparked an opportunity to dig deeper in introspection and awake enlightened. 

Chapter 6 had a personality quiz. I found that interesting because I think many times we think we are something we aren’t. In some cases, you’ve heard people describe you in a way you’ve adopted. 

After taking the personality test, I discovered I am an Influencer. 

The first personality is Influencers. Influencers are directors who are people oriented. These 

individuals are great at leading teams, and they know a lot about each member of their groups 

and how to motivate them. These are the moms who initiate playdates, lead the local moms’ 

groups, and invite people on outings. These are the people who others seem to be drawn to.

Having this in mind (as well as some of my answers to the personal development questions) resonated like a dream board. Seeing the answers on paper visually gave me some direction. I’ve always wanted to sky dive, now I have it written in a 12 month action plan so it becomes something more than an item on a bucket list. 

In conclusion, Finding Mom, was a book every woman should read whether she is a mother not. There was enough general “self help” information for it to be more than just a mommy book. I look forward to revisiting some of the chapters and sharing it with others. 

-Shaun Liriano 

Get your own copy of Finding Mom on Amazon!

Finding Mom: Embark on a Journey Through the 3-Phases of Self-Discovery with a Variety of Deep Personality Quizzes and Questionnaires to Rediscover Who You Truly Are. (Nurturing the Mom You Are) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1535220775/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_lot8xbK736BW8

Email me at Shaunliriano@gmail.com if you have any questions. Leave your comments in the comments section below or on my Twitter page @shutyamouthnow

Bless! 

Mothers Morning Reflection

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I’m laying in bed next to my 5 week old baby girl.  Sure I could have put her back in her crib after her last feeding and diaper change but I love being close to her. I’m still working on the detachment thing.

A mosquito bit me twice while I was burping her and I went into an immediate frenzy. Funny thing is I didn’t get upset because I got bit but because I was afraid the mosquito would bite my daughter. I hunted it and killed it. It now rests in peace on the sole of my Old Navy flip flop. Let us bow our heads…

I do at least 3 loads of laundry a day. It’s a never-ending cycle of filth. I’m  going grocery shopping in the am to get cake mix because I promised my two year old step daughter that we could bake this weekend. 

I eat only because I know I have to nurse and have some energy for my family. If I get to choose between rest or food…rest wins hands down.

I want to finish everything I’ve ever started. I want to be better than I’ve ever been.  I strive not for public acceptance but to be my daughters’ heroine.  I’ve become a woman who can be relied on. I’ve become a woman who can be trusted. I’ve become a woman who can be admired. I’ve become a woman who can be a loyal partner. I’ve become a woman who can provide.  I’ve become a woman…

If you are a mother in the ShutYaMouthAndCallMeUgly family,  stand up! Stand up in your t-shirt and panties, in your granny robe, nude, in your spit up stained pajamas,  in your nursing bra,  in your lingerie,  and take a bow. I salute you. I salute your sacrifices. I salute your class. I salute your maturity.  May you be encouraged this morning.

By : Shaun M Nickens