Keeping it 1000

Focus.

You can only catch one chicken at a time.

and my favorite…

Jack of all trades and master of none.

A person who is multi-talented or curious is often considered to be “flighty”, “messy”, “lacking focus”, or a “dreamer.” These are your liberal arts majors in schools.  These are your subway singers. These are your “professional students.”  They are always “finding themselves.”  What I’ve noticed is these people are exhausting to their loved ones.  Are you one of the aforementioned?  Well, have you ever been asked any of the following?

So what do you want to do with that?

Oh! So you’re a _____________now?

What are you going to do for money?

The questions are fielded towards you and what do you do?  Do you get defensive because they don’t “get” you?

There isn’t much I think believe I cannot do (thought and belief are different but that’s a separate post.) I’ve tried it all.  I’ve done personal training, martial arts, I took security guard training, I played tennis, I played chess in college my freshman year (although I wasn’t very good)…you get the idea.  The only two things that have been constant in my life are music and literature.  They pacify my inner baby.  When I enter that space, I am in another world.  I am in a safe cocoon of calm.  I am invincible.  I am untouchable.  There is no high like that of creating something and seeing the effect it has on others.  That connection is remarkable.  It’s a human relationship that allows you to alleviate someone else’s pain or share in their happiness. Although those are my constants, it doesn’t mean I am not capable of doing something else.

Your ambition is your double-edged sword, Shaun.

Currently, I am in a place of self exploration.  I am taking an acting class. It is freaking amazing!  I wanted to sharpen my stage presence as a poet.  I signed up for the class and it has opened doors of opportunity that I couldn’t have imagined.  I’ve met people who have been in the industry for decades.  The networking, the experiences, the tips, the tricks, the progression I’ve made is priceless. Now, I can create monologues with my free verse poetry and I personally know actors, playwrights, and venue owners who can bring my writing to life. The excitement I feel is so juvenile.  It is a childlike hope.

It is a childlike hope.

Sometimes people say, “let me keep it 100 with you.”  That means they are going to tell you the truth.  They are giving you 100%.  When someone is really trying to bring it home they may say, “I’m gonna keep it a thousand!”

They’re keeping it real.

Well, I’m going to keep it a thousand…

Do what you do, every day, to the best of your ability and with no apologies.  If you’re a genius, no one will understand what the hell you are doing.  You may be judged.  You may be called names. God willing your loved ones will support you and love you even in a state of confusion.  You can reward them later when you are successful.  You can write in a journal so they can read your thoughts when you’re dead. Whatever you decide to do is okay as long as its authentic.   Do not use monetary value to bring legitimacy to what you do.  There are people crying in mansions.

Check out what I found randomly googling one day:

3. A jack of all trades is a master of none.

This saying got cut short as well and originally said “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.” Unlike what our version would lead you to believe, having multiple interests but not being an expert in anything could actually prove advantageous.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/7-phrases-youve-been-misquoting

If you’re good at everything…do everything!  Kick ass at it.  Bust down doors instead of waiting for them to open. Make it hard to be ignored.  Surround yourself with people who believe in you.

The only way you can fail is by second guessing yourself and listening to the voices in everyone else’s head.  You can do this.

-Shaun Liriano

 

 

 

Don’t Complain

I remember when a good friend of mine was pregnant with her first child.  We are college buddies.  We were at an event for another friend of ours.  We’re standing by the bar (of course she wasn’t drinking) and an acquaintance looks at her blooming belly and begins a conversation about childbirth and the woes of being a mother.  This was a lengthy talk.  Our eyes grew wider as we listened intently.  This was many years ago but all I remember are the forewarnings vividly.

Oh you like to be cute! I see your nails are done. You won’t have time for that.

You’re lucky if you get a chance to eat!

This happens all the time.  Right?  A group of “seasoned mothers” with a “mother-to-be.”  We tell them about the hours of labor, the pain, what color your body part turned, what new smell you discovered…

When my cousin was pregnant with her son, another family member and I were “bragging” about the happenstance of being able to shave and shower in the same session without interruption.  Pregnant Cousin promptly responded, “You two sound like refugees!”

She’s right.

Today, I laugh about the awkward conversations amongst the mommy crew.  Its honestly all in comradery.  I don’t think anyone ever wants to scare the new mommies.  Motherhood is something to celebrate.  It is never dull, you are always learning, and you are consistently responsible for the experiences and growth of another human being.

One of my favorite quotes is by Kahlil Gibran:

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

There are days where I am completely exhausted from work.  Then it’s time to put on my “mommy hat.”  I have to do homework, clean, prepare food (or at least take it out the fast food bag,) run bath water, make lunches, read, pray with the kids, and then finally collapse and try to take care of myself. Like any human I get overwhelmed but I love my children.  I love doing arts and crafts with my step daughter, watching movies with my 3 year old, and having crawling races with my son (I always let him win.)  There are challenges and there are tests that I in no way could have been prepared for so now I just stay in tuned with gratefulness.

I read an article (http://nypost.com/2017/04/23/several-dead-after-house-fire-breaks-out-in-queens/)  the other day that floored me.  I had just finished arguing.  I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it was too late to go back to sleep and try again.  I woke up an asshole.  I can admit it.  It happens to the best of us but I was saddened by the article.

Four children died in a fire.

I kept seeing the words flash across my mind like a scrolling LED message. What a sobering moment.  It was like God screamed “STOP COMPLAINING!”

STOP COMPLAINING

What would you do without these “little headaches?”  I have another cousin that calls them “freedom suckers.”  I am eternally grateful for the blessing of being a mother.  There are other titles that I am so proud of but that one has to be the best.

Finally, when I was pregnant with my daughter I remember a co-worker saying, “One day you will be alone with the baby and the baby will be crying and you will be crying and you two will just cry together and soothe one another.” Whoa!  I felt depressed but that isn’t necessarily a sad moment.  I know several mothers who have experienced that and it is a tremendous bonding time with your child. You both want to be heard.  You both probably don’t even have a specific reason for crying.  You both will provide comfort in a unique way.  Crying isn’t an expression of weakness.  Crying is how you bathe your soul.

Take a bath today.  Try not to complain. Enjoy every part of who you are.

-Shaun L

 

 

Review on DiaperDabbler.com [SPECIAL COUPON CODE FOR SYMACMU READERS!!!!!!]

When I had my 3 year old daughter I was not picky about what diapers I used. I was given a few boxes from my baby shower. I was (and still am) a coupon fanatic. Therefore I used whatever was on sale. She never suffered from diaper rash so I was lucky. Some mommies cannot be that liberal because their children have sensitive skin. Unfortunately the only way to find what works best for your baby is through trial and error. 

My son is the guinea pig (a very very cute guinea pig) for this trial. When you leave the hospital, you will probably be given a couple dozen Pampers Swaddlers. FYI, up until the trial done for this review I was only using Pampers on my newborn. 

DiaperDabbler.com is a fun way to try out different brands without buying the whole pack.

I received my package in 5 business days. There was tracking provided so I knew exactly where it was at all times. When it arrived, it was in a brown standard shipping envelope. 

All the packaging was simple with a personal touch. 

My diapers came in packs of three individually wrapped and labeled with the brand and size. 

You will also receive a print out that will assist in you rating each brand. Let’s face it…”mommy brain” is real and we need help with memory and staying organized. Studies show we become sharper and more astute in other areas but I’ll save that for another post!! 

The company also threw in a few complimentary wipes to check out! 

I started with bambamboos because I’ve never heard of it. They have no overwhelming smell, they do not feel soft and the design isn’t necessarily eye popping. It was clear that this would be a brand I was rating mostly on function. I also sampled Earths Best Tender Care and Bamboo Nature. 

Currently my son sleeps for 1 1/2-3 hours after each changing and feeding (according to this awesome app I have called Feed Baby.) The diapers need to withstand that timeframe as well as keep him relatively dry. Just for added information for seasoned moms: My son is breastfeeding exclusively. 

I am actually excited about changing diapers! The company can easily be reached via email with any questions or comments: care@diaperdabbler.com

Now…exclusively for my ShutYaMouthAndCallMeUgly readers…(insert drumroll) here is a coupon code you can use on your next order: DIAPER10 
You can reach the company on Twitter @DiaperDabbler

You can reach me on Twitter @Shutyamouthnow

Happy Dabbling!!

-Shaun Liriano 

Finding Mom by Amanda Mawhinney (Book review) 

I was given an opportunity to review a new book by Amanda Mawhinney. I have to admit the book size is a turn on. I have a 5 yr old step daughter, a 3 yr old daughter, and a 1 week old son. That being said, it usually takes awhile to get through a good read. “Me time” is hard to come by. This book is 75 pages and packs a lot of information in a small package. I finished it in one sitting while the girls did arts and crafts and my son took a nap! There are some activities I will revisit but I was able to get through it quickly and efficiently.

Chapter 4, “Who am I?”was fun because there were tools provided to be your navigation in “finding yourself.” In this chapter, a journal and a pen were necessary. Questions asked by the author sparked an opportunity to dig deeper in introspection and awake enlightened. 

Chapter 6 had a personality quiz. I found that interesting because I think many times we think we are something we aren’t. In some cases, you’ve heard people describe you in a way you’ve adopted. 

After taking the personality test, I discovered I am an Influencer. 

The first personality is Influencers. Influencers are directors who are people oriented. These 

individuals are great at leading teams, and they know a lot about each member of their groups 

and how to motivate them. These are the moms who initiate playdates, lead the local moms’ 

groups, and invite people on outings. These are the people who others seem to be drawn to.

Having this in mind (as well as some of my answers to the personal development questions) resonated like a dream board. Seeing the answers on paper visually gave me some direction. I’ve always wanted to sky dive, now I have it written in a 12 month action plan so it becomes something more than an item on a bucket list. 

In conclusion, Finding Mom, was a book every woman should read whether she is a mother not. There was enough general “self help” information for it to be more than just a mommy book. I look forward to revisiting some of the chapters and sharing it with others. 

-Shaun Liriano 

Get your own copy of Finding Mom on Amazon!

Finding Mom: Embark on a Journey Through the 3-Phases of Self-Discovery with a Variety of Deep Personality Quizzes and Questionnaires to Rediscover Who You Truly Are. (Nurturing the Mom You Are) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1535220775/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_lot8xbK736BW8

Email me at Shaunliriano@gmail.com if you have any questions. Leave your comments in the comments section below or on my Twitter page @shutyamouthnow

Bless! 

It’s Not That Serious

I am a jokester. I love to have fun and I am extremely extroverted.

However, I am very sensitive to criticism. 

The latter takes away from the former if you don’t say to yourself every once in awhile ,”It’s not that serious.”

I am often guilty of getting offended by that phrase. My husband gets beat up about it the most:

What do you mean you’re not hungry? Wait…so what you’re saying is my food is wack?? I’m a wack food maker??? I can’t toast bread???? WHERE HAVE YOU EATEN TODAY????? WHY DID YOU MARRY A REMEDIAL FOOD PREPARER?????? “

His response: “It’s not that serious, Shaun.”

“WHAT?!!”

My guns are cocked, knives drawn, and ready for war. He said something harmless to calm my ass down. My interpretation was, “Your feelings aren’t a serious matter for me.”

The division is established.

Two days later we decide that was a stupid fight to have about dinner.

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The chicken vegetable stir fry I made the other day. They picked the vegetables out -_-

The point is…my WHOLE life would be different if I chose to abide by “It’s not that serious” at the right times. People are just people.
“Mistakes are what make people human.”-Tip in the movie Home (Yes my children have brain washed me.)

I am DEEPLY ENGULFED in this great book I got on clearance at Target two days ago.

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You’re loving my fresh wash, set, and wrap lol

Year of Yes is absolutely freaking awesome. The message is self explanatory but I am in love with the way Shonda Rhimes writes. The detail and the color is so inviting you feel like you know her personally. I could completely relate to her take on the “working mother.”

I work 11 hour shifts 4 days a week plus overtime. My 2 year old is in an early childhood private program. My step daughter is in her first year of kindergarten. The class parties, fundraisers, meetings, and at home learning we do to supplement is a lot. Factor in cleaning,  laundry, and an occasional meal and there are days when I get 3-4 hours of consecutive sleep. But! You know what…

It’s not that serious.

Also, I’m lucky. My husband helps. Not like, helps a little bit. No he helps A LOT.

I conducted a business call with a dancer performing in my upcoming poetry showcase tonight. I was on a lunch break and she had her infant climbing into the phone. We both shared that we sometimes video chat our husbands. The kids video chat. We text at stop signs. Simple things have to be scheduled. Everything has to be rescheduled. But!
It’s not that serious. We get it done.

I would like to complain less and comply more.

Good t-shirt idea.

Note to self.

Complain less and comply more.

Until next time…

-Shaun Liriano

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***By the way…I’m doing a follow-up post to the vision board post I did last year. So look for that! Share. Comment. Like.
https://shutyamouthandcallmeugly.com/2015/01/30/vision-boards-and-what-i-think-of-them/

“There’s nothing wrong with being driven. And there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first to reach your goals. The other stuff still happens.” ~Shonda Rhimes

Shut Ya Mouth and Pray -The Journey

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Today I almost forgot.  I run around a lot. Always trying to squeeze everything in. It’s necessary and it’s important. I love the feeling at the end of the day that I did everything I am capable of for that day.

I have to take a moment and reflect on the tremendous, tumultuous, joyous, romance filled, cinematic, and dramatic journey I’ve taken. I did not take that journey alone. I have a good, patient, supportive, strong minded, wonderful, challenging, friend and husband. I have always rushed around trying to keep up or catch up. I now have a life partner to help me take the lead.

Father,
We take the time today to say thank you for our friends, lovers, and loved ones who keep us company on our journey. We thank you for giving us a life with purpose. We shower You with gratitude. We ask that you help us reach our full potential. We thank you in advance for the increase you are about to touch our lives with.
Amen

By:SML

#Shutyamouthandpray Power Within

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Did it all happen quickly? Minutes turned into hours? Time never cooperates with your expectations. Are you frustrated?  Are you staying the same and your surroundings are changing?

Yea.

What are you doing about it?

Find an accountability partner and put your ass in gear. It doesn’t matter if its perfect. It matters that it’s done and you aren’t wasting your time and talents.

Father:
Help us push and push harder than we ever have. Help us dig into undiscovered parts of our potential. Help us not to gauge our success by the success of others. Help us to have self esteem that is only controlled by ourselves and not weighed by others opinions of us. Help us to see passed the selfishness and sometimes oblivion of our loved ones. Help us stay strong enough to fight the fight even if it means shadowboxing with ourselves and slap boxing with Jesus. God please stay with us and strengthen us when we feel weak.
Amen