Things I’ve Learned From Security Guards

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Friday After Next (2002)

Over the years I’ve held many positions. I was telling my husband today that I have always been “one of the guys.” I always got cool with the security guards at my jobs. They would always involuntarily give advice.  I even went to this security training school in Manhattan for 2 weeks and took a class. I was certified as a security guard. I was going to combine it with my martial arts training and be a bodyguard. Then I realized…

I could die like that.

Anyway, I digress.

In my experience, Security guards usually have something profound (or funny) to say. They often have this great story. They have layers. I’m no security expert but in my experience that has been the case.

I don’t remember all of their names but I remember the things they said:

1. “She {referring to his girlfriend} calls all damn day long. I answer because it makes her feel safe. Like I’m invested. Sometimes you should just chill and focus on your goals. I’ve never had to wonder what she’s doing. I know she’s thinking about me and the next time she’s going to call me.” (José from the office in Uniondale I worked in. I was a file clerk. Worked there in my late teens.)

2. Don’t chew gum to kill bad breath. It loses flavor. Suck on a strawberry now and later. It looks fly and it lasts. It’s sexy. Probably not good for your teeth but you can buy new ones when you’re old. At least you’ll be old and fly with good breath.” (Guy we called ‘O.G’ from this retail store I worked in for 2 years while in school. Valley Stream, NY.)

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Strawberry now and later candies

3. “I gained so much respect for my wife every time she had another one of our children. We have 4 girls. It’s not the delivery. Even though that is really a life altering experience.
I finally got to help her, be the man, take some of the weight off. I then realized how much weight she carries. Women really are quite spectacular.” (Jeff at a telecommunications company. I fainted during my pregnancy and he and my supervisor chatted with me until I was okay again.)

Honorable Mentions:
(Sam from FYE in Bayside.) I drink before work because I feel like it. I’m not a coffee kind of guy. I’m not an alcoholic either. You can’t drink alcohol legally until you’re an adult. I drink before work to remind myself I’m an adult. Sometimes when I stay here, stand here, feet hurting, wearing this uniform, smiling at these rude ass people…I forget. I forget I’m an adult.

(Dude we used to call “Happy” at an insurance company in Woodbury) As we would walk into the building he would say, “Leave your frowns at the door.”

Enjoy your weekend SYMACMU family! Thanks for reading!

-Shaun Liriano

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In my power pose before work.

It’s Not That Serious

I am a jokester. I love to have fun and I am extremely extroverted.

However, I am very sensitive to criticism. 

The latter takes away from the former if you don’t say to yourself every once in awhile ,”It’s not that serious.”

I am often guilty of getting offended by that phrase. My husband gets beat up about it the most:

What do you mean you’re not hungry? Wait…so what you’re saying is my food is wack?? I’m a wack food maker??? I can’t toast bread???? WHERE HAVE YOU EATEN TODAY????? WHY DID YOU MARRY A REMEDIAL FOOD PREPARER?????? “

His response: “It’s not that serious, Shaun.”

“WHAT?!!”

My guns are cocked, knives drawn, and ready for war. He said something harmless to calm my ass down. My interpretation was, “Your feelings aren’t a serious matter for me.”

The division is established.

Two days later we decide that was a stupid fight to have about dinner.

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The chicken vegetable stir fry I made the other day. They picked the vegetables out -_-

The point is…my WHOLE life would be different if I chose to abide by “It’s not that serious” at the right times. People are just people.
“Mistakes are what make people human.”-Tip in the movie Home (Yes my children have brain washed me.)

I am DEEPLY ENGULFED in this great book I got on clearance at Target two days ago.

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You’re loving my fresh wash, set, and wrap lol

Year of Yes is absolutely freaking awesome. The message is self explanatory but I am in love with the way Shonda Rhimes writes. The detail and the color is so inviting you feel like you know her personally. I could completely relate to her take on the “working mother.”

I work 11 hour shifts 4 days a week plus overtime. My 2 year old is in an early childhood private program. My step daughter is in her first year of kindergarten. The class parties, fundraisers, meetings, and at home learning we do to supplement is a lot. Factor in cleaning,  laundry, and an occasional meal and there are days when I get 3-4 hours of consecutive sleep. But! You know what…

It’s not that serious.

Also, I’m lucky. My husband helps. Not like, helps a little bit. No he helps A LOT.

I conducted a business call with a dancer performing in my upcoming poetry showcase tonight. I was on a lunch break and she had her infant climbing into the phone. We both shared that we sometimes video chat our husbands. The kids video chat. We text at stop signs. Simple things have to be scheduled. Everything has to be rescheduled. But!
It’s not that serious. We get it done.

I would like to complain less and comply more.

Good t-shirt idea.

Note to self.

Complain less and comply more.

Until next time…

-Shaun Liriano

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***By the way…I’m doing a follow-up post to the vision board post I did last year. So look for that! Share. Comment. Like.
https://shutyamouthandcallmeugly.com/2015/01/30/vision-boards-and-what-i-think-of-them/

“There’s nothing wrong with being driven. And there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first to reach your goals. The other stuff still happens.” ~Shonda Rhimes

Out With the Old!!! (RIP Diamond in the Rough Category)

FYI:

The Diamond in the Rough category has been permanently deactivated (there will be no new posts in that category.) That category was created for promotion and marketing for small businesses and entertainers.

Diamond In The Rough is and always will be a tribute to all aspiring artists, music talents, writers and business owners who are currently serving the community by staying true to their own authentic individuality. We thank you for rejecting the norm and for giving us a healthy dose of passion and dedication.

Old posts may still be found in the Archived Featured Talent category. Also, any inquiries about performing or being a vendor at any upcoming showcases may be directed to my email: Shutyamouthandcallmeugly@gmail.com

Thank you for your continued support!