Down There

This is a Part II to the following post: https://shutyamouthandcallmeugly.com/2015/07/10/nachos-and-cheese-cold-sweat-series/
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I walked in and I heard music. It was loud and intrusive. It thumped through your chest and it rattled your soul. I thought to myself, “How does anyone have a conversation in here?” As if reading my mind, he appeared and said, “Words complicate things.” The music always muted when he spoke. Everyone was always suspended in the air. There were no floors. It wasn’t frightening though. There was no place below. There was no place further to fall.
He was tall. He wasn’t a large man. You could tell he was strong, though. There was something about his posture and the tone of his voice. He was aware of his power. His reputation and the fear his presence induced fed his power. He was wearing a black A-Shirt and a pair of black sweat pants and some tan construction Timberland boots. He grabbed my arm and his touch burned my skin. I jumped back in shock and grabbed my wound. He said, “You’re not one of mine. What are you doing down here?” I said, “Well Mr. ..” I had no idea what to call him. Do I call him Satan, Lucifer, The Dark One?
He said, “Chill, titles mean nothing down here. They all know who is in charge and they rarely have anything to say. That’s why I play the music so loud. It drowns out the unnecessary. I always liked music. They loved my stuff up there. Most people should have said what they needed to say when it mattered. Down here it doesn’t matter. I’m not listening. If you’re down here, no one cares about what you say or what you think or what you feel. If you’re down here, you missed out on being with the One who cared about those things. If you’re down here, you may have been someone who didn’t care about those things when someone needed you to.”
I looked at him and explained I was “up there” and JC and I had a conversation that went left. I hoped it was just a misunderstanding because I didn’t want to stay in darkness. I had questions and I’d always thought JC would be so nice and angelic about his expanations.
He looked at me and said, “You think they explained anything to me when they sent me down here?” “I was like a shooting fallen star! It was like being shot out of a damn cannon. Sometimes you can challenge too much. You can ask too many questions. You can rebel too much. Goodness is inherent. Kindness can be forced but if you do not like it here then you need to force it. You need to think about others. You need to think about yourself too. There are people down here who neglected themselves physically, spiritually and emotionally.”
As he spoke, I started to realize JC sent me down there because He knew my questions would be answered and that was the point. I wasn’t supposed to have so many inquiries. I was supposed to have FAITH. I was supposed to trust that He knew what he was doing. I was supposed to fufill my purpose.

My father always called me a rebel without a cause.

Would that existential crisis leave me in the darkness with the dark one with answers to questions that didn’t require answers?

I became antsy. I was hoping this was a little exercise the angels were putting me through. Maybe a test of character. I was hoping the darkness wouldn’t be my new permanent residence. It wasn’t hot. He wasn’t red. There were no flames but it was uncomfortable and it was loud. Suspended over nothing with nothing to look forward to.

I asked if any of my friends were there.

Some old associates appeared. I couldn’t remember all of their names but I remembered their faces. I wondered what they could have possibly done to merit that fate. I wondered what my fate would now be.

(To be continued )

-SMN

Before Its Over…(ShutYaMouthAndPray)

wpid-2015-10-25-22.08.52.png.pngAlthough it may seem cliché. I wanted to use the last 5 minutes of Sunday’s ShutYaMouthAndPray to be thankful. We often complain and are sometimes dissatisfied with aspects of our lives that are unsatisfactory to us but would be great blessings to someone else. Be grateful for your employment, be grateful for your hooptie, be grateful for your loved ones (even the ones who get on your nerves.) Each day will present new challenges, you just have to recognize what they are and rise to them.

Bless!

Give Your Wallet a Break Today!

Day 11 of the self esteem challenge :

Use today as a savings opportunity for the future you.

I work in a corporate office so I spend a lot on food daily. A sandwich from the cafeteria after chips and a bottled water can easily amount to $8-9. Add in another $6-7 for coffee and a bagel on the way to work. By the time my second break comes, I’m looking for some “happy food” to put some excitement in my day. That can be anything from apple slices with caramel  ($3.49) to a slice of pizza (don’t judge my diet.)

Today I’m gonna keep it really simple!

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I’m having cereal for my first break and my lunch.

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I caught an awesome sale. If you’ve been a follower of shutyamouthandcallmeugly.com for awhile then you know I love loyalty cards!!! I saved $2.80 at CVS today and my year to date savings is $85.91. Think of what you can do with that money. Especially with the holidays coming up! Or maybe it’s just a new hairstyle for you to start the new year off with.

If you’re drinking the recommended 60 ounces of water a day, you should feel content throughout the day. I’m not saying you’re going to feel like you ate a steak! :-p
However, you shouldn’t want to go all zombie on your co-worker and chew an arm off.

The money you would spend, you can keep in your pocket. Make a list of things you can use the money for. Look at that list when you’re tempted to break the challenge during your day.

My list:
1. Eyebrow threading- $4.00 (Sundays only…..I know I know I’m cheap!)
2. Underarm waxing-$8.00
3. Manicure and pedicure -$15.00 (Wednesdays only)
4. Gasoline -$10.00 is a half tank (4 cl vehicle.)
5. Music- Cd $10-$15 (yes I still buy cd’s) Average download  $9.99

I can keep going but you get the idea!!

Let me know how you do with this challenge today. I don’t start my work day till 3pm today but I posted earlier than normal for you guys. If you’ve already started, sacrifice McDonald’s on the way home or that Cinnabon you don’t need. Cook dinner for everyone else, you eat cereal and pack your portion for lunch tomorrow! Join me or shut your mouth and call me ugly in the comments section below. This may seem small but the point is it’s for you!!!!

P.S- If you live in the New York area and you want to know where I get some of those deals, ask in the comments section or tweet me @ShutyaMouthNow!  I reply immediately

-SMN

Day 10 Self Esteem challenge

Oh we’re finishing this (you thought I forgot!)

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Photo credit redshoemovement.com

Day 10- Evaluate where you are. What did you want to be when you grew up? What are you doing? Today tap into your ability to dream and hone in on that childhood creativity that inspired you at a time. It may have even inspired others. What makes you feel good? What healthy addiction do you have?

When I was young I wanted to sing. I was in the children’s choir at 3! I sang in high school. I auditioned for the vocal program by singing the Star Spangled Banner.

Today I am in customer service (hold your applause.) I do freelance writing and editing on the side.
Service pays the bills. The pen, paper, computer and phone deliver the expressions of my soul.
Public speaking makes me feel good. I connect with others. My heart is a sponge that absorbs the emotions of others. Sometimes it’s a good thing. Sometimes it isn’t.

My new healthy addiction is steam and sweat. That sounds weird. I like steam rooms, saunas, hot showers, warm baths, and extreme work out classes when you come out drenched. I like the act of physically excreting impurities and then the fresh relaxed feeling you have afterwards.

~SMN

Shut Ya Mouth and Pray (For the children) Pt 1

http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/05/us/chicago-tyshawn-lee-shooting/

The above link was sent to me by a friend in a text messaging group chat. After reading, my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. I could walk on the ocean floor. Someone blew out the light of the sun. The stars were unplugged from God’s socket. All I could think was, “How do you execute a helpless child?”

This is not a hood movie classic. This is life.

As a parent, I don’t know how the parents are functioning. The father must be blaming himself. My prayers immediately went out to the grieving family. This is not a race issue. This isn’t even evidence to support gun control arguments. This is about a life that was extinguished. Someone’s baby is gone.

Every Sunday  (I’ll try to be consistent) I will post a prayer reflection.  No matter what your spiritual path or doctrine you identify with, please join me as a prayer warrior and make a change in this world. We can’t just talk about it. Prayer is action. Shut Ya Mouth and Pray. Open your heart.

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This song always encourages me

To Our Creator:
Please protect our children. Please let us cherish every moment we have with them. They are our chance at a righteous future for this world. Protect their innocence. Build their self esteem. Show them their value. Keep them safe.
Help us to forgive our enemies. Help us to move forward and heal. Help us to pray when we feel weak. Amen.

By:SMN

Don’t Call Me

I will it. May the universe hear it.
Don’t call me.
Receive it…receive it…receive it.
Don’t call me.
You specifically.
Not with negativity and incincerity.
Not with the petty, the snotty, snooty, or regularity of absent class.
Not with ghetto antics and foul language.

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Not with bitterness and hatred.
Not with immaturity.
Not with dread.
Not for show.
Not for tell.
Not for optics.
Don’t call me with deep sighs wallowing at the bosom of your breath.
Don’t call me if your ability to be intelligent is paralyzed by my success.
Don’t call me.
Don’t call me neglecting your responsibilities.
Don’t call me parading and pretending in your bubble and rolling around in your dark dungeon of delusion.
Don’t call me without engaging in cognitive self actualization.
Don’t call me if you’ve been a therapy absentee.
Don’t call me…
…pretending the problem is me.

By Shaun Nickens

#peace

Machine Mom

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Off work at 2am. In bed at 3am. Up with the kids at 6am. I don’t even bother with coffee anymore. Thank God my household is run by a team effort. My fiancée is very active as a parent. We push ourselves and each other. The question still remains: What did you do for yourself today??? #30dayselfesteemchallenge

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While the kids were at school, I ran to Denny’s and had some tea with lemon and honey (I have this irritating cough.) Sitting there I thought about the waiters and the waitresses. What landed them here? Are they budding entrepreneurs? Is this step one or level one to this great designer plan of their lives? Maybe one of them or all of them wanted this. Maybe they want to serve, to smile for a living,  to provide people with sustenance. Maybe it feels good to calm my cough. Maybe it feels good to sit beside the elderly and assist them in reading the small print on the menu. Maybe this is it. Maybe that’s okay.